Category Archives: Amala

I made a mistake.


Location : Fall Trace. 

I've had a bit of a roller-coaster weekend, emotions wise, and needed a familiar release... so although yes! This is a blog post! I'm not officially back. Or maybe I am. I'm still not sure.

I feel like as with most things, I may have rushed in. It's always weird to me how things can appear wonderful from the outside, without too much thought, but the second that a link is broken you're suddenly capable of seeing all the flaws, all the red flags... and upon meticulous dissection of conversations and situations, you're left with a feeling of "Oh shit. I fell for that again, didn't I?".

I am the very first to admit that I'm less than perfect. You want to insult me? Go ahead. There's no freaking way you can insult me more than I insult myself. As with many people, I have a myriad of issues with regards to mental health, and one of them is Borderline Personality Disorder. 
I tell people not because I'm worried about doing them harm. I'm not evil or malicious. Neither am I a liar or a manipulator. I do however defend myself and my thoughts rather rigidly, and once I've come to a decision (and no doubt ranted through all my options with some very patient friends), I will probably (maybe) listen to your perspective, decide I've already considered this (which I will have, and about 12 other points of view), and go along and do my own thing anyway. I'm kind of a bitch like that.

I tell people about my BPD in the hopes that they will actually do some research and/or take the time to understand me and my thought patterns. I'm learning that the people I don't want in my life make no effort to understand me. I'm pretty set in my ways. I'm terrifyingly introverted (although noisy af... it's a thing.), and I am undoubtedly scared to death of being abandoned (among other things, of course).

I have also come to terms with the fact that my BPD means I'm a target for a certain personality type. I'm pretty sure we've all been in a relationship that has made us feel uncomfortable, that has given us the "Bad Gut" feels, which we may have ignored for a little too long, or forgiven for a few weeks/months or years longer than we should have...
But what happens when your gut doesn't do it's job? The gaping emptiness, the broken promises, and then the ultimate betrayal of being blamed for being you dig yet another hole of insecurity into your heart, and you find yourself thinking "If I keep doing this, I'm going to lose myself completely".

This seems like a depressing post... and I apologize... but it's not really depressing, is it? It's a learning curve. It may be that an emotional weekend has caused me to re-evaluate myself and my actions, but ultimately;

Hi. I'm Pickle. And I'm still here bitches.

All of the things :

Body: -Belleza- Freya 
Skin : Essences - Anya @ Kustom9
Head : CATWA Lona
Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 
Eye Applier : -SU!-Delora Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)
Ears : ^^Swallow^^  Rox Ears 
Nose piercing : [VEX] Double Crossed Nosering
Hair : Tableau Vivant \ Cindy Kustom9
Necklace : Amala - The Genevieve Necklace Kustom9
Shirt : {le fil casse} Allison Top for Luxe Box October




❤ Coletitas ❤ Thxxx Kaithleen , Thxxx Lanna & Thxxx Izara !!!

Skin : 7 Deadly s{K}ins. (New!!) CHANT freckled omega FACE&BODY dew
Make Up : SU! Essential Eyeliners (Boxed) /RARE/
Hair : [RA] Rachel Hair - Essential 
Suit : Kaithleen's (New!!)(Sad November) Glossy Romper & Fur Top - Fatpack
Shoes : Phedora. (Uber) ~ Sorcha Flats ~ 28c (unpacked)
Necklace : *PerveTTe* (New!!)(Sad November) Autumn [Choker]
Bangles : Amala. The Robyn Hand Bracelet 
Rings : Amala. The Robyn Stacking Rings
Chain : *PerveTTe* (New!!)(4Mesh) Lovely [Leg Chain]

❤ Dirty Clothes Are Washed At Home ❤ Thxxx Missy , Thxxx Meef , Thxxx Paula , Thxxx Bookiexmoon , Thxxx Justyna , Thxxx Analeise & Thxxx AnyBody !!!

Skin : [the Skinnery] Lily (Catwa Applier) milk REDELIVERY
Make Up : SU!  Essential Eyeliners (Boxed) /RARE/
Make Up : .Xo Tattoos (New!!)(AnyBody) Lala Lips_ {Catwa}
Hair Base : Just Magnetized. (New!!)(Powder Pack) Basic Hairbase - SPECIAL EDITION 04
Hair : -FABIA- (New!!)(Soon At Whimsical) Abby
Lingerie : :ESSENCE: (New!!)(AnyBody) MAITRESSE LINGERIE set'LUMIERE
Tattoo : [ATI] (New!!)(Elité) Juels... Maitreya Applier...
Rings : Amala. The Robyn Stacking Rings
Piercing : .ARISE. Chess Septum
Nails : alme. B&Ws - Matte
Piercing : **RE** Piercing Corset
Necklace : [AB] (New!!)(Cookish Fair) Avocado Love Necklaces

❤ Good Morning ❤ Thxxx Antonia , Thxxx Kah & Thxxx Appliqué !!!

Skin : L'Etre. Lola Skin [Buttermilk Tone] CATWA
Make Up : [LF] Beauty Moles II 
Make Up : Ascendant. (New!!)(Appliqué) Eyeshadows set 10 - CATWA
Hair Base : L'Etre. "Pulled back" Hairbase [FATPACK]
Hair : {Sintiklia} Viola - Naturals
Body : Countdown. (New!!)(Appliqué) Jennifer Nude Lingerie (Rezz)
Socks : AVICANDY 1920s Inspired
Shoes : Phedora. ~ Claudia heels ~ 28 c (unpacked)
Coat : kotte. (New!!)(Rewind) bebop robe - pure (maitreya)
Necklace : Amala. The Cara Necklace
Earrings : Amala. The Cara Earrings
Rings : Amala. The Atara Stacking Rings
Nails : alme. Elegant Nude

❤ Good Morning ❤ Thxxx Antonia , Thxxx Kah & Thxxx Appliqué !!!

Skin : L'Etre. Lola Skin [Buttermilk Tone] CATWA
Make Up : [LF] Beauty Moles II 
Make Up : Ascendant. (New!!)(Appliqué) Eyeshadows set 10 - CATWA
Hair Base : L'Etre. "Pulled back" Hairbase [FATPACK]
Hair : {Sintiklia} Viola - Naturals
Body : Countdown. (New!!)(Appliqué) Jennifer Nude Lingerie (Rezz)
Socks : AVICANDY 1920s Inspired
Shoes : Phedora. ~ Claudia heels ~ 28 c (unpacked)
Coat : kotte. (New!!)(Rewind) bebop robe - pure (maitreya)
Necklace : Amala. The Cara Necklace
Earrings : Amala. The Cara Earrings
Rings : Amala. The Atara Stacking Rings
Nails : alme. Elegant Nude

❤ Pure Love , U Are Mine ❤ Thxxx Ainadara , Thxxx Helga , Thxxx Envy , Thxxx Mila , Thxxx Missy , Thxxx Bookiexmoon & Thxxx Appliqué !!!

Skin : [the Skinnery] (New!!)(Rewind) Sachiko (Catwa Applier) milk
Make Up : SU! Essential Eyeliners (Boxed) /RARE/
Lashes : .MILA. (New!!)(Appliqué) Hypnose Star Lashes (Catwa)
Hair Base : L'Etre "Pulled back" Hairbase [FATPACK]
Hair : DOUX. (New!!)(Sad November)  Dreemdoll hairstyle [Fades]
Outfit : [I<3F]&Co. (New!!)(ROMP) Outfit [04] [undress me]
Shoes : Phedora. (New!!)(Rewind) ~ Claudia heels ~ 28 c 
Tattoo : [ATI] (New!!)(Suicide Dollz) Zyra...Maitreya Applier...
Necklace : Amala. The Daddy's Necklace
Rings : Amala. The Atara Stacking Rings 
Piercing : EarthStones.  Belly Bugs - Maitreya - Butterfly Treasure Pack
Nails : [AB] (New!!)(Sad November) November BENTO Nails Matte
Poses : .ARISE. (New!!)(ROMP) Be Mine Pose Pack
Pose : eTc. (New!!) In his Arms

❤ Pure Love , U Are Mine ❤ Thxxx Ainadara , Thxxx Helga , Thxxx Envy , Thxxx Mila , Thxxx Missy , Thxxx Bookiexmoon & Thxxx Appliqué !!!

Skin : [the Skinnery] (New!!)(Rewind) Sachiko (Catwa Applier) milk
Make Up : SU! Essential Eyeliners (Boxed) /RARE/
Lashes : .MILA. (New!!)(Appliqué) Hypnose Star Lashes (Catwa)
Hair Base : L'Etre "Pulled back" Hairbase [FATPACK]
Hair : DOUX. (New!!)(Sad November)  Dreemdoll hairstyle [Fades]
Outfit : [I<3F]&Co. (New!!)(ROMP) Outfit [04] [undress me]
Shoes : Phedora. (New!!)(Rewind) ~ Claudia heels ~ 28 c 
Tattoo : [ATI] (New!!)(Suicide Dollz) Zyra...Maitreya Applier...
Necklace : Amala. The Daddy's Necklace
Rings : Amala. The Atara Stacking Rings 
Piercing : EarthStones.  Belly Bugs - Maitreya - Butterfly Treasure Pack
Nails : [AB] (New!!)(Sad November) November BENTO Nails Matte
Poses : .ARISE. (New!!)(ROMP) Be Mine Pose Pack
Pose : eTc. (New!!) In his Arms

❤ Brush My Hair ❤ Thxxx Izara , Thxxx Kah , Thxxx Meef , Thxxx Ana , Thxxx Blaxium , Thxxx Titty & Thxxx AnyBody !!!

Skin : 7 Deadly s{K}ins. (New!!) NORTH omega FACE&BODY snow
Make Up : [LF] Beauty Moles II
Make Up : Ascendant. (New!!)(AnyBody) Lipsticks set 14 - CATWA
Make Up : SU! Essential Eyeliners (Boxed) /RARE/
Hair : -FABIA- (New!!)(Gacha Garden) <Olivia>
Top : Addams. Hara VNeck Top // N*1
Pants : ella. (New!!)(L8) Sweatpants Fatpack
Tattoo : {T'Ink} (New!!)(AnyBody) Moon Bunni
Piercing : BLAXIUM. (New!!)(TDME) -Nera Piercings- CATYA
Rings : Amala. The Atara Stacking Rings

❤ Without Coffee With Milk In Morning Im Not Awake ❤ Thxxx Izara , Thxxx Meef , Thxxx Ana & Thxxx Lyriqz !!!

Skin : 7 Deadly s{K}ins. (New!!) MAGDA omega FACE&BODY cotton candy
Make Up : Veechi. (New!!)(N21) Toasted Liner [Catwa]
Make Up : Veechi. (New!!)(N21) Harvest Chill Blush [Catwa]
Hair : -FABIA- (New!!)(Gacha Garden) <Amelia> 
Dress : ella. (New!!)(Kinky Event) Babydoll Angelique Fatpack
Shoes & Socks : #EMPIRE (New!!)(Shinny Shabby) Edelweiss
Necklace : Amala. The Daddy's Necklace
Piercing : ~Misha J.~ Nipple Barbell Rings (Maitreya!)
Rings : (Yummy) (New!!)(N21) Divinity Ring and Nail Set - Maitreya
Pose (center) : *!R.O!* (New!!) Morning BENTO Pose w/ Mesh Coffee Cup & Spoon (wear)

❤ Mmmm Prrrr Yummy Fish ❤ Thxxx Kaithleen , Thxxx Ayanna , Thxxx Stephanie & Thxxx Lyriqz !!!

Skin : ::MODISH:: (New!!)(Cosmopolitan) Vella (F01) [Catwa] Face Applier HUD
Make Up : LIVIA:: (New!!)(TBCF) Ornamental Face Art No.1 [FATPACK]
Make Up : Avada. (New!!)(TMR) Mava Lips
Hair : #Foxy Doll Hair (Natural Ombres)
Suit With Tail : Kaithleen's (New!!) Kitty Set - Fatpack
Shoes : N-Core ENDLESS Peep Toe "FatPack"
Tattoo : .:Soul:. Wild Tattoo - Leopard - White - Omega Appliers
Collar : #187# Fetish Kitty Set - Fatpack
Band : Pr!tty. (Gift) Christmas Kitty - [Snow]
Rings : Amala. The Robyn Stacking Rings
Nails : LIVIA:: (New!!)(TBCF) Elegant Wine Nails [Applier HUD]
Pose (center) : *!R.O!* (New!!) Snack BENTO Pose w/ Mesh Goldfish and Wine Glass (Wear)